


One Last Try

by dkmcb01



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst, F/M, Family, Fluff, Love, Time Travel, non-canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:35:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26519101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dkmcb01/pseuds/dkmcb01
Summary: “Do you think this is going to work?”  Naomi asked as she checked then double-checked the settings and coordinates.  I rested my head on the console in front of us, a half-empty cup of coffee in my hand.  I stared at the black coffee in the cup.
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway
Comments: 7
Kudos: 18





	One Last Try

“Do you think this is going to work?” Naomi asked as she checked then double-checked the settings and coordinates. I rested my head on the console in front of us, a half-empty cup of coffee in my hand. I stared at the black coffee in the cup. Naomi was my best friend in all the universes put together. She was brilliant and caring and kind. I watched her check another setting. And as she had done so many times before – she reached forward and brushed the dark brown hair out of my eyes. “Alex, do you think this is going to work?” she asked me again as her fingers lingered in my hair, brushing it back over and over. I leaned into the soothing touch. I had been awake too long, for days maybe – kept awake with way too much coffee and way too many stimulants. Voyager shuddered under our feet. Keeping the ship together was becoming more and more difficult.

“I don’t know. I hope. I mean that’s all we have, right? Hope?” I whispered as she closed her eyes. She was so tired. So tired of it all. So tired of trying to keep a dream alive that very few people seemed to care about anymore. “You should go get some sleep.” Naomi prodded me as she turned back to the console. I nodded and stood up. I walked the 10 or so feet over to the couch and sat down hard. Before I closed my eyes, I could see Naomi shaking her head at me sadly. We were best friends, had always been best friends – even during the worst of times. She’d lost a lot of weight too. We all had. I missed the days when the replicators made more than supplement tabs.

Naomi missed my smile, she told me last night that she couldn’t remember the last time I smiled. Probably not since before Dad died. Losing Chakotay the way we had – had crushed what was left of Voyager's crew. Naomi mentioned once that she knew a large part of me died with Dad that day. She said I was different when I came back. 

By the time we had reached Chakotay in a prison mining camp, he was already dead – his body still slightly warm. He had been kidnapped, ripped from our lives on away mission for supplies. 6 months passed before we found him and sent an away team to rescue him. We were too late. I don’t even remember the away mission or getting planet-side. I remember staring at his body for a long time…trying to memorize every terrible thing the Vong did to him. Someone, I can’t even remember who got me and Dad’s body back on board. Naomi met me in cargo bay 2 and we stumbled back to her quarters. I don’t know how long I cried but Naomi stayed by my side. 

That was a year ago. We spent the last year planning - working out all the details for a mission we told no one about – not that there were that many people left on board to care. We didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up. With only a skeleton crew left on board, we were pretty much left to their own devices. Naomi checked the Delta Flyer’s coordinates one more time. We were as ready as we were going to be. We had about an hour left - before I would pilot the refitted Delta Flyer and travel back in time to save my family – to save them all – Temporal Prime Directive be damned. 

Naomi hoped that by saving Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay – that they all would be saved. It was the only chance Voyager had. Voyager was coming apart at the seams and would never reach the Alpha Quadrant. In its current condition, Naomi had already decided to crash land Voyager on the nearby uninhabitable planet. 

Our plan – if it worked - would at least give Voyager a chance of surviving and making it home.

***

“Alex, everything is ready. Wake up – it’s almost time.” Naomi kneeled beside the couch. I groaned and reached out for her hand. “Come here for a few minutes” Naomi allowed me to pull her onto the couch and wrap my arms around her. “I’m going to miss you. How am I going to live without you? Come with me or I’ll stay and we can go down with the ship together” I whispered, placing a kiss on her forehead. “Alex, I can’t go…Mom is…I am going to miss you so much. Go save us, Alex. Go save all of us.” Naomi quickly wiped her eyes and stood up. She held her hand out to me.

*** 

“This suit is ridiculously tight,” I grumbled.

“It has to be. We went over this. Hold still.” Naomi said softly as she adjusted the pressurized environmental suit. Naomi checked and rechecked the fittings. “You always take such good care of me. What am I going to do without you?” Naomi didn’t answer, she just took Alex’s hand. Honestly, I hoped I would die on this mission and not have to live without her.

We walked onboard the aging Delta Flyer. It was a bit worn and more than a bit beat up by away missions and time but Tom Paris had built the ship to last. I ran my hand over the console and the small durasteel plaque Dad had placed on the console the day Tom Paris had died during a crash landing. “Tom, keep this thing together for me, will you? With a bit of luck, next time I see you – you will be alive.” Naomi and I did the final flight check and then she strapped me into the seat. She had added the restraints at the last minute – it was going to be a bumpy ride. I watched her pull out the hypospray and adjust the dose. 

“How much are you giving me? 

“…a triple dose – you need to be awake and focused if this is going to work – one mistake and you will…”

I saw tears forming in Naomi’s eyes and quickly undid the restraints. I couldn’t leave like this – not without holding her one more time. I stood up and pulled her into my arms as she cried. She calmed a bit and I pulled back to look at her. She was beautiful, so beautiful. I leaned forward and kissed her. We had never kissed before. It was both hello and goodbye and all the love and years rolled into one single kiss.

“I love you, sweet Naomi”

“I love you too, Alex.”

Naomi turned and left quickly and I sat back down and secured the restraints.

***

Quickly, Naomi overrode the access codes to the cargo bay door. I fired up the Delta Flyer and moved quickly out of the cargo bay. I took a quick look back at Voyager and then engaged the warp drive. I quickly reached maximum velocity. I still no idea how Naomi had coaxed the Delta Flyer’s warp drive to reach warp 12 and NOT tear the ship apart. I set the autopilot and moved to stretch. 

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small holovid padd. I flipped through the photos landing on my favorite. The last holovid of my family together. Captain Janeway, Commander Chakotay, and me – age 6 – on holiday on holodeck 2. It was years before I learned that the beach wasn’t “real”. I didn’t care – it was real to me. That was 17 years ago but it felt so much longer. Losing Mom had broken Dad. 

Life was never the same, again. I needed to focus on now – not the past. I shook my head to clear it. 

I checked the sensors, making sure I was far enough away from Voyager should something go wrong – at least I wouldn’t destroy the ship and my friends and Naomi. I followed Naomi’s instructions – making adjustments to the velocity collider - the device that would make time travel possible. The console lit up green showing that all systems were ready. “Here goes nothing,” I muttered to no one. A stream of tachyon and Huygens particles shot out of the Flyer’s weapons systems – slicing open space in front of her – creating a wormhole. 

I knew I was in trouble almost immediately after entering the wormhole. The console in front of me erupted in a shower of sparks and flames. The fire suppression system went off as designed and quickly put out the flames in front of me. I took a deep breath in relief but then the console to my right exploded. I ducked and most of the shards of durasteel missed me but I felt a large piece embed itself in my back. Cursing, I pulled the hypospray from my pocket and administered the pain reliever, thanking Naomi for her foresight.

“Just a bit longer.” I gritted my teeth against the searing pain and worked to keep the ship together a bit longer. If our calculations were correct – the Flyer would exit the wormhole off the starboard bow of Voyager 25 years in the past. 

“DAMNIT! Give me 10 more seconds!” I yelled to no one. The Delta Flyer was coming apart around me – from somewhere flames were trying to burn me out of my seat and the computer was screeching about a warp core breach. The wormhole had grown big enough for me to see Voyager. Punching the comm channels open,

“Voyager this is Alex..uh…nevermind-I-will-explain-later on the Delta Flyer request emergency beam-out! I am on fire and have an imminent warp core breach!”.

“Delta Flyer, prepare for emergency beam-out! Shields up!” yelled the officer of the deck.

**_Onboard Voyager_ **

“Ensign, beam this _Alex_ to cargo bay 2, and have a security team meet me there,” Tuvok ordered Ensign Harry Kim just as the Delta Flyer exploded.

Tuvok commed the Captain and Commander Chakotay as he entered the turbo-lift.

“Tuvok to Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay please meet me in Cargo bay 2, we have a… situation.”

***

Chakotay had been on the same deck as Cargo Bay 2 and had made a quick dash. He stepped in right before the security team. He ran over to the figure laying on the deck. The person was seriously injured, badly burned with a large piece of – what appeared to be - durasteel sticking out of their back. Chakotay leaned over to look at their face and check their pulse.

“Can you hear me? Can you tell me your name?” Chakotay asked repeatedly.

***

_One moment I was screaming for a beam-out and now I am lying and maybe dying in a cargo bay with my very-much-alive-Dad kneeling over me. The hypospray was starting to wear off and all I could feel was a searing pain in my back. Maybe my injuries are worse than I thought?_

“Dad….” I whispered before I passed out.

Chakotay looked down at the person that had just called him “Dad” – confusion etched on his face. He didn’t know who this person was but they were badly injured.

He called for emergency transport to sickbay just as Tuvok and Captain Janeway ran in.

“Who was that Commander?” Captain Janeway asked.

“Unknown Captain. They were seriously hurt, burns, shrapnel, and maybe a head injury.” Chakotay responded.

“Tuvok, where did they come from? We haven’t run into any anomalies in a while,” Janeway asked.

“Their ship came out of a wormhole off the starboard bow. They commed for an emergency beam-out…from a version of the Delta Flyer…” Tuvok watched Janeway’s eyebrows raise up. 

“Let’s go see if they are alive,” Janeway replied as they exited Cargo Bay 2 headed for Sickbay. Janeway’s head was spinning. The Delta Flyer? Was in the cargo bay… _beam-out_ meant they knew about Starfleet technology.

***

“Well, Doctor how is our mysterious patient?”

“Captain, we are stabilizing her now. She has severe burns, a large piece of durasteel sticking out of her back, she has some internal damage also. I will know more in a few minutes. We have just started.” The Doctor replied.

As Janeway turned to Tuvok, Chakotay walked over to the Doctor.

“Doctor, I don’t know who this person is – but she called me “Dad” - maybe check for a head injury,” Chakotay mentioned.

“Thank you, Commander. For letting me know. I will check her for any neurological dysfunction.”

***

Kes had been carefully removing Alex’s burnt and torn clothing, getting the unconscious young woman ready for surgery. Kes - always a soothing presence in Sickbay – spoke calmly to the injured woman – even though she was unconscious. As she cut away one of the sleeves, she gasped.

“Doctor, please come here. I have found something.”

The Doctor leaned over to look at the young woman’s forearm. Kes and the Doctor exchanged looks. Their mysterious guest was wearing Chakotay’s tattoo on her left forearm. Remembering what Chakotay had said earlier, the Doctor ran a DNA test to be compared to the Commander’s. Taking another chance, he ran her DNA against the Captain also.

***

Alex slowly opened her eyes and groaned at the same time. She was lying on her side and hurt all over. She blinked and the Doctor’s face came into view.

“You will only be awake for a few more minutes. I am going to begin your surgery soon. Kes suggested we wake you up to tell you the extent of your injuries. You have severe burns, we need to remove the piece of Durasteel that is embedded in your back, and there are some internal injuries that I need to repair. You are also, malnourished and seem to have quite a dependence on coffee and synthetic stimulants. Do you have any questions?”

I blinked and stared at – Kes…it had been so long since last I saw her. I swallowed and replied,

_“No questions Doctor. The scars I already have? Leave them, okay.”_

The Doctor rolled his eyes. He would never understand humans and their need to keep scars. Kes placed her hand gently on Alex,

“I’ll make sure he does not remove them. Go to sleep now.”

***

Alex's surgery took more than 6 hours. After repairing the burns and lacerations on her back, the Doctor began repairing the internal damage she had suffered. Kes documented the older injuries she had sustained. 

There were old phaser burn scars, a long jagged scar running the length of one leg, numerous other lacerations and puncture wounds, broken bones that had healed on their own and must have caused the young women a great deal of pain. 

“The extent of her scars and scar tissue is so…she must have been in a great deal of pain. It’s no wonder she was taking synthetic stimulants. She was just trying to get by.” Kes reported.

The Doctor nodded, “she’s also malnourished – the stimulants had enough vitamins to keep her going”.

***

“Tuvok, pull up the holovid of our guests’ arrival on our starboard bow,” Janeway asked.

Tuvok pulled up the holovid and they all turned to watch. They watched the wormhole open, a badly damaged and on fire Delta Flyer burst through and heard the panicked request for emergency beam-out just before the craft exploded.

Janeway turned to her senior officers,

“Any theories… where she came from? Or more precisely – what time period she came from? Tom, is that the Delta Flyer?”

Tom had been watching the holovid with great interest. It was his Delta Flyer but it looked older and appeared to have more wear and tear.

“Captain, as far as I can tell it’s the Delta Flyer. It seemed to have a lot of wear and tear…and some added armor that I have not seen before. I am not sure but it may have had an upgraded warp drive…the Delta Flyer that we have in our cargo bay would not have withstood travel through a wormhole. Not without modifications.”

“Captain, our guest may have come from a future timeline…whether it’s ours or another…it’s unclear at this time,” Chakotay responded.

Janeway paced back and forth, thinking. If this young woman was from the future…what was she doing here? And who was she?

“We will just have to wait until she wakes up. B’Elanna, swing by Sickbay and get that pressurized suit she was wearing. Maybe it will tell us a bit more about her while we wait for her to wake up. Harry, see what kind of readings the wormhole left behind…maybe we can figure out where she came from. Commander, please stay behind.”

***

Kathryn sat down behind her desk as Chakotay replicated them both coffee. Kathryn thought Chakotay was more quiet than usual.

“What are you thinking Chakotay?” Kathryn asked as she took the coffee.

Chakotay sat in front of her desk and leaned back in the chair with a sigh.

“Kathryn, I can’t shake this feeling – she seems familiar. But that may just be my mind jumping to conclusions. Right before I had her beamed to Sickbay, she called me “dad”. I don’t know what to make of that – may be a head injury.”

“Chakotay, do you think… Honestly, she seems familiar to me too. I really can’t go there right now.”

Chakotay nodded.

Kathryn and Chakotay sat in silence sipping on their coffee and watching the stars pass… waiting for her surgery to be over.

***

After the surgery ended, the Doctor asked Janeway and Chakotay to come see him.

He motioned them to his office when they arrived. He had kept Alex sedated – wanting her to heal as much as possible before the questioning started.

“Captain, Commander – let me get right to it. Our patient, her name is Alex – Kes found her name stamped inside the pressurized suit she was wearing. Alex came in with severe burns over her back, a large laceration from the piece of durasteel, and internal injuries. I repaired them and she should be fine. But there were other older injuries visible – old phaser burns, a long jagged scar running the length of her left leg, miscellaneous lacerations and puncture wounds, multiple broken bones that healed on their own. She refused to let us remove the existing scars. She is also malnourished and has a coffee and synthetic stimulant dependence.”

Chakotay and Kathryn just looked at each other – stunned by the list of new and old injuries.

“There are a couple of other things. Please know I have checked and double-checked the results. On her left forearm, she has a tattoo almost identical to that of yours, Commander. I also compared her DNA to both of you. She is your biological daughter.”

Chakotay and Kathryn just stared at the Doctor and then each other trying to wrap their minds around the announcement. 

“I want to see her arm,” Chakotay stated.

The Doctor nodded and led them to Alex’ biobed. 

“I want to keep her sedated for a while longer.”

“Of course, Doctor,” Kathryn replied.

Chakotay looked closely at Alex’s left forearm. Not that he doubted the Doctor’s information but he wanted to see the tattoo for himself. It was identical to his except for the small “KJ” located at the starting point of the tattoo. He got Kathryn’s attention and pointed out her initials in the design. 

Kathryn took a deep breath and reached for Chakotay’s hand. “She has the same dark hair as her father” Kathryn smiled as she squeezed his hand. “I hope she has your eyes,” Chakotay replied. Kathryn looked at Chakotay, silently asking him something with her eyes. Chakotay nodded and turned to the Doctor,

“We want to stay with her until she wakes up.”

The Doctor nodded and Kes smiled and brought some chairs for the Captain and Commander to watch over their daughter.

They took turns holding her hand, talking softly to her. Chakotay traced the tattoo on her arm over and over. Kathryn ran her fingers gently through her daughter’s hair. The Doctor and Kes watched from a distance – trying to stay busy – they were surprised at how easily Kathryn and Chakotay had stepped into a loving parental role. Kathryn had laid her head on the biobed and looked at Chakotay,’

“What happened to Voyager? Where she’s from…her injuries, the older ones – so many and the malnutrition and dependence on stimulants?”

Chakotay thought for a moment, smiling slightly,

“I noticed you did not mention the coffee…but about the rest…the only thing I can think of is that we lost the EMH and possibly Sickbay entirely. Rations must have been low or non-existent. And…we must have died. Because neither you nor I would have allowed her to travel back in time … much less alone.”

Kathryn nodded and reached out for Chakotay’s hand. 

***

_The first thing I noticed was the cold biobed – why anyone in Starfleet thought these things were comfortable was always beyond me. Someone was running their fingers through my hair and it felt like Mom. Like when I was a child and didn’t feel good - but Mom was dead. I tried to move but gasped in pain instead and opened my eyes. I blinked furiously – trying to force my eyes to focus,_

_“Mom?”_

Kathryn moved quickly to Alex’s side, wrapping her daughter in a gentle hug so as not to aggravate her pain. Kathryn looked at Chakotay – who had tears in his eyes and felt her own tears on her face. 

“Alex, we are here. You are safe. Your Dad is here too.” Kathryn whispered rubbing her forehead gently.

_I looked up and saw Dad holding my hand then started crying harder._

“You need to rest so you can heal. Shhhh…it’s ok. We aren’t going anywhere. One of us will be here at all times.” Chakotay said. His voice was soothing – I had forgotten what it sounded like before Mom di…

_“I’m scared. I don’t want to close my eyes! You won’t be here when I wake up, I’m probably hallucinating! I’m dead, aren’t I? ”_

“Alex, your Dad is right. One of us will be here for you always. I might send your Dad for some coffee or tea but he will be right back. I promise. We promise. Please rest so you can get well. You’re safe now.” 

_I had forgotten how commanding and comforting Mom could be – I took a deep breath and tried to relax._

Alex looked up at Kathryn and nodded. Chakotay signaled for the Doctor to administer a sedative. Soon Alex was fast asleep. 

“Kathryn, did you want that coffee? Maybe a snack?” Chakotay asked wrapping his arms around her.

“Chakotay…we are parents. I know we just found out today but…but…I love her. I want to protect her. This must be what they mean by motherly instinct.”

Kathryn held Chakotay tight and never wanted to let go. She looked up into his deep brown eyes and leaned up, kissing him lightly on the lips. Chakotay responded, kissing Kathryn back gently. 

“I feel the same. I’ll go get us some tea and a snack. I will be right back.”

Chakotay turned to go, glancing back at Kathryn running her fingers through Alex’s dark hair. This whole situation felt like a dream – if it was, he didn’t want to wake up.

***

Chakotay headed for the mess deck, hoping that Neelix could whip up something appetizing for Kathryn. Lost in thought, he turned the corner and ran into B’Elanna.

“Chakotay! How is our mystery guest? Are you okay?”

Chakotay stared as his long-time friend.

“Walk with me? I am headed to the mess deck.”

B’Elanna fell into step beside Chakotay and walked with him to the mess deck as he told her about who Alex was.

“Wait a minute!” B’Elanna exclaimed. “Alex is your daughter? You and the Captains?! And she came 25 years into the past? To do what? She must be here for some reason.”

Chakotay replicated coffee instead of tea and asked Neelix for a couple of sandwiches as B’Elanna processed the information about Alex.

“We aren’t sure why she’s here yet. She woke up confused – took one look at the Captain – called her “Mom” and then started sobbing. B’Elanna, whatever happened in her timeline – wasn’t good. The Doctor found many injuries and scars that healed on their own without medical treatment. She’s also dependent on synthetic stimulants – the Doctor told us that was the only thing keeping her body functioning – she’s thin and malnourished.”

B’Elanna absorbed what Chakotay had told her. She had been analyzing the pressurized environmental suit that she had retrieved from Kes. The suit was highly advanced but well-worn and patched in places. B’Elanna was surprised that it still functioned. She had found something else but wasn’t sure it was the time to tell the Captain _or_ Chakotay.

***

Chakotay headed back to Sickbay as B’Elanna made the turn for engineering. He found Kathryn in the same position as she left her. He handed her the coffee and sandwich and sat down beside her. 

“How is she?” he asked.

“Sleeping. I wonder how we died?” Kathryn replied.

“I don’t know,” Chakotay replied.

Chakotay and Kathryn sat and watched their daughter sleep – both lost in their own thoughts. Kathryn left to go check in with Tuvok while Chakotay stayed behind.

Janeway took a deep breath and stepped off the turbolift and onto the bridge. She looked at her senior officers and nodded to her ready room. Once they were all inside,

“I wanted to keep you all up-to-date on our guest. Her name is Alex – at least that is the name Kes found on the inside of her environmental suit. She is also – my daughter. Chakotay is her father. The Doctor has confirmed this through DNA examination. Her recent injuries have been repaired. She has other older scars and broken bones that seemed to have healed on their own. She is malnourished and dependent on synthetic stimulants which the Doctor believes kept her alive” Janeway announced to the group.

Tom Paris spoke first,

“So, she’s from a future version of Voyager? Do we know why she came back to our time?”

“Not yet. She woke up for a few minutes but was in no position to answer any questions.” Janeway replied. “We will have to wait until she wakes up again.”

***

The Doctor kept Alex sedated for 72 hours until her injuries healed. During those long hours, Alex was kept on a large dose of vitamins and nutrients. Chakotay and Kathryn stayed with Alex. They took turns sleeping and checking in with Tuvok.

Alex woke up with a groan. She blinked a few times and found her parents sleeping next to her. 

_“Parents– I have parents again and both of them alive at the same time. And sickbay – is so clean and functional._

Chakotay woke up and noticed Alex awake and watching them sleep. He nudged Kathryn and they both moved closer to Alex.

“Hey there. How do you feel?’ Chakotay whispered.

_“Better. You know who I am?”_

Kathryn reached for Alex’s hand – which she gave willingly. Marveling at the woman she had not seen in so many years. Her mom was holding her hand – drawing calming circles on her palm.

“Yes, we know who you are. You are safe now.” Kathryn responded.

The Doctor came out of his office at the sound of whispering.

“Ah, the patient is awake. Great! Alex, how do you feel?”

_“Better. When can I get out of here?”_

Chakotay smirked at Kathryn and then Alex.

“I see some things are genetic. Your mother, also, hates being in sickbay any longer than necessary…and usually leaves against my recommendation. But if you are not going to be alone…you may leave – just take it easy and rest and eat well – you are still a bit malnourished. Oh, and I left all the scars you had before – as you requested.”

Chakotay raised his eyes at the last part but didn’t say anything. There would be plenty of time for that later. Chakotay moved to the replicator,

“If we are going to get you out of here, you need clothing. What would you like? 

_It had been so long since the replicators worked on the other Voyager – at first, I didn’t know what to say._

_“Has Tom Paris programmed 21st-century clothing into the replicator yet?”_

Kathryn nodded – curious as to what Alex would choose. 

_“I don’t know what size I am but black skinny jeans, a white t-shirt, undergarments, and black boots – the scuffed-up version. If that’s okay…”_

Chakotay nodded and motioned Kathryn to come over and help with sizes. 

Soon the clothing appeared and Kathryn helped Alex get dressed. She was still sore from the surgery and needed a bit of help. Alex got choked up as Kathryn helped her get dressed. She hadn’t had her mom around for so long. All of the bottled-up emotions kept coming to the surface. She felt Kathryn wipe the tears off her cheek.

_“I’m sorry I keep crying around you. I haven’t seen you… in a long time.”_

Kathryn finished pulling the t-shirt over Alex’s head and then pulled her in for a hug.

“It’s okay. I’m here now. Are you ready to go?”

Alex nodded and walked out of sickbay flanked by her parents.

***

They chose to go to Kathryn’s quarters as they were bigger. On the way there, Alex marveled at Voyager. It had been many years since she had seen Voyager so clean and together. Kathryn noticed Alex looking around as they walked. She really wanted to know what happened in Alex's timeline. But she didn’t want to bombard the young woman with questions right away. 

***

Chakotay replicated them all tea, hoping Kathryn wouldn’t glare at him too long. Alex walked over to the panoramic view of the stars. Honestly, now that she was here and alive – she was nervous and hesitant. She had been on Voyager for about 96 hours – most of that unconscious. She knew the Captain and Commander Chakotay had a million questions. Not facing them, she said,

_“You can ask me anything. You must have a million questions.”_

Kathryn and Chakotay stayed on the couch – giving Alex space. Chakotay nodded and Kathryn asked the big question – why,

“Alex, what…happened that made you come here? To this time?”

_I had rehearsed for this moment for a year – rehearsed the answer but now the question was here the answer felt selfish._

_“I came to tell you everything – to save everyone. Temporal Prime Directive be damned.”_

***

Chakotay looked at Kathryn, as she frowned at Alex’ answer. 

_“…and before you say something about Starfleet or Federation regulations…let me say my Voyager is gone. There is nothing for me to go back to even if you could pull that off._

Chakotay spoke up this time. His easy timbre soothing the atmosphere in the room.

“Alex, what do you mean?”

Alex turned to face her parents. Kathryn thought Alex looked sadder than anyone she had ever encountered. Her eyes trying to hold back a flood of emotion. Alex took a deep breath, sipping her tea to buy some time.

_“Voyager is gone… We had enough dilithium for the Delta Flyer and the mission. The last of the gel packs were failing. Naomi estimated we had maybe 5 days left before the environmental systems went offline permanently. With no M-class planet in range…she planned to crash Voyager into the next uninhabitable planet to prevent scavenging. We all agreed…all 13 of us. There was barely anyone left._

***

Thirteen! Kathryn thought. That’s not even a skeleton crew for Voyager. She had to know what happened…and how to prevent it. Alex walked over to her mother and reached for her hand.

_“Let me tell you both what happened. It’s not a happy ending but the story has some happy moments. You might want something stronger to drink than this tea. In case you were wondering…my name is Alexandra Kol Janeway.”_

Over the next several hours, Alex shared the history of her Voyager and its crew. 

_“Mom, you died the day after my 6 th birthday. On an away mission that yielded nothing worth dying for. I had a holovid padd with me…did it survive? If so, it has the last picture we took as a family. It wasn’t your fault – you weren’t being reckless. A first contact gone wrong even though all the information we had was that they were friendly. _

_Your death broke Dad, he was never the same. Voyager was never the same – you were the glue that kept us together – that kept the dream of home alive. Dad, you took command of Voyager immediately. There was too much grief and you dealt with it by working all the time._

_I wasn’t alone, though. Voyager was my family. Sam Wildeman made sure I ate. Tom, Harry, and B’Elanna kept me company – making sure I kept up with my studies and taught me how to play pool at Sandrine’s. I_

_don’t blame you, Dad. We were all devastated that Mom died. Her death affected everyone and everything we did from there on out.”_

Alex stopped talking as she noticed her parents looked horrified. Chakotay had moved behind Kathryn and pulled her back into him as they listened. 

_“I’m sorry…to be so matter-of-fact…about you and us. I have had over a year to rehearse what I was going to say if this insane plan actually worked.”_

Kathryn walked over to stare at the stars.

“It’s just a lot. It’s a lot to wrap our heads around.”

Alex thought for a moment and suggested,

_“Would it be easier for Tuvok to mind-meld with me? Or for me to write up a report? Or some combination of both? As I said, it’s not a happy story – it may be easier to digest a little bit at a time.”_

“Let’s pause for tonight. Chakotay and I will talk it over. I think we all need some rest.” Kathryn replied.

***

They had decided Alex would sleep in Kathryn’s quarters for the night. She had more room and Alex seemed comfortable in there. Chakotay and Kathryn talked for a bit as Alex feel asleep quickly. Chakotay returned to his quarters but before he could get settled in for the night, B’Elanna commed him. 

“Chakotay, is it too late? I have something to show you.”

“It’s not too late, B’Elanna. Come over.”

B’Elanna came in and Chakotay motioned to the table. He replicated more tea and handed her one. He noticed his oldest friend seemed nervous,

“B’Elanna, what is it?” Chakotay asked.

“Hmm…I found something in Alex’s environmental suit. It was sewn into the fabric. I haven’t looked at it. Not sure if it’s personal…but here.” She replied handing over a small datachip.

Chakotay took the datachip and sat it on the table. He was tired…no…he was exhausted. His life and Kathryn’s life as well – had been turned upside down. They had a daughter from the future. In this timeline, they had only kissed recently. They hadn’t taken their relationship to the next step yet. He needed time to wrap his mind and his heart around this whole new “normal”. B’Elanna could feel her friend’s reluctance. She reached out her hand to touch his arm,

“Do you want me to look at it first? I can be kind of an impartial observer – I can warn you about any difficult parts”

Chakotay thought about for a few moments. He was tired and overwhelmed. He nodded to B’Elanna.

“Get some rest. I’ll check this out tonight and talk to you tomorrow.” B’Elanna gave Chakotay a quick hug and left his quarters. Exhausted Chakotay leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes.

****

Alex woke up screaming for Naomi. Kathryn jumped out of bed to go comfort her daughter. She had promised herself that she would keep referring to Alex as her daughter until she, herself, got used to it. She stumbled toward the couch only to find it empty. 

Alex was sitting with her arms wrapped around her knees on the other couch near the viewport. She was shaking and drenched in sweat with her head down. She was gasping for breath as Kathryn approached.

Kathryn recognized a panic attack when she saw one. Kathryn cringed inwardly...out of all the things her genetics had to give a daughter of hers - it had to be the propensity to have panic attacks?!

As Kathryn was moving deliberately yet slowly toward Alex, she heard her door slide open. Chakotay had heard Alex’s screams and practically flew out of his own quarter's next door and overrode the door lock. He looked around and saw the same thing Kathryn had - Alex in the midst of a full-blown panic attack.

Chakotay went to the replicator ordering a glass of water as Kathryn finally reached Alex.

Kathryn knelt beside Alex.

Alex had her eyes closed shut even as the tears streamed down. She was whispering _“I’m sorry”_ over and over again, oblivious to Kathryn beside her.

Kathryn reached out gently placing her hand on her child’s back and began rubbing gentle circles over it. Kathryn remembered her mother did that when she was upset and hoped it would work for Alex. Alex turned her head towards Kathryn, still gasping for air.

Chakotay sat the water down and moved in behind Alex - hoping his presence would make her feel safe. Kathryn mimicked Chakotay’s maneuver and sat in front of Alex - as close as she could. 

“Alex, I am going to put your hand over my heart so you can feel my heartbeat. I want you to concentrate on my heartbeat and try to slow your breathing down” Kathryn whispered gently.

Kathryn placed Alex’s hand over her heartbeat and watched Alex struggle to control her breathing. Chakotay felt Alex relax slowly. He nodded at Kathryn. She was still shaking but her breathing was slower.

Soon Alex leaned back into Chakotay - she shuddered occasionally. 

Kathryn reached for the water and handed the glass to Alex. Alex drank the water and handed back the glass. _“Sorry.”_

“No need to be sorry” Chakotay spoke up. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Kathryn asked.

_“I left them...left Naomi to die. She was my best friend...my...I left them and now they are dead.”_

***

As Chakotay and Kathryn comforted with Alex, B’Elanna and Tom worked on the datachip. 

“What do you think is on it?” Tom asked watching B’Elanna load the chip into the computer.

“I don’t know. I am not even sure Alex knew it was in her suit. It was sewn into the interior liner.” B’Elanna replied. “Well, here’s goes nothing.”

***

Chakotay and Kathryn calmed Alex down and asked the Doctor for a light sedative to help her sleep. They moved Alex to Kathryn’s bed and went into the living area to talk. 

“Kathryn…B’Elanna found a datachip sewn inside the lining of Alex’s environmental suit. She brought it to me earlier…I couldn’t look at it…I just wasn’t ready…she is looking at it first and then she will let us know what’s on it before we see it. I am sorry I didn’t ask you first.”

Kathryn had moved closer to Chakotay on the couch. She had leaned over, resting her head on his shoulder.

“It’s okay, Chakotay. We are in uncharted territory here. Let’s try to get some sleep.”

***

B’Elanna and Tom stayed up most of the night going over the datachip. It wasn’t so much as what was on the device as what WASN’T on it. Voyager’s entire memory core was there, as well as schematics for all the upgrades “the other Voyager” crew had made. There were separate files for the senior staff. 

And one for Alexandra Kol Janeway. 

B’Elanna hesitantly opened the young woman’s file. Tom and B’Elanna read Alex’s file and just looked at each other.

***

“Computer, locate Alex Janeway” 

“Alex Janeway is in holodeck 2.”

Chakotay changed out of his uniform into casual clothing and headed for the holodeck. Chakotay was not surprised Alex had locked the holodeck. He used his command codes to override the lock. 

The door opened to reveal a tropical beach and ocean waves similar to what could be found on Earth. He could see Alex sitting on a surfboard in the water. She had her back to the beach and was watching the sunrise. 

Chakotay looked around and found a beach chair to sit in. He leaned back and relaxed in the artificial sun. He watched Alex turn her board and ride a wave back to the beach. Alex jogged up the beach to where Chakotay was sitting. He tossed her a beach towel that she ran over her hair.

_“Hi.”_ She said as she sat down on her surfboard.

“Hi, back. This is a great program. Tom help you with it?” 

_“A bit. There was already a base program so I just added a few details I like.”_

“The sunrise?” Chakotay asked

_“Yes,”_ Alex responded.

“Can we talk about what happened to the other me?” he asked.

“ _…you read the report on the datachip from Naomi…it’s all there_ ,” deflected Alex.

Chakotay sighed. Alex was so very much like Kathryn – so stubborn and afraid to feel anything.

“Please? I want to hear it from you.” Chakotay tried again.

Alex leaned back against a piece of artificial driftwood. She looked at the sand, at the water, at the sky, and then at her Dad.

_“It was supposed to be an easy supply mission. With a species, we had already encountered. We needed food and they needed medicine. An easy swap. You and I and Harry beamed down to the designated meeting place. Everything was going fine. The trade was going as planned. What we didn’t plan for and what the local leaders didn’t plan for was a rebel faction to attack us. We fought them off - you, Harry, and I._

_One of them got close enough to you to place some sort of beacon on you – you were beamed away. I watched you dematerialize without any idea of where you were going. The rest of the rebel faction was beamed away also. They were after you. Harry called Voyager to try and get a bio-lock on you. Ayala and Justin beamed down to interrogate the locals. They were just as surprised as we were._

_We were suspicious of them at first but soon they were helping us scan their planet for you. Voyager stayed in orbit for 3 months scouring the planet and checking leads. The planet was covered in jungle-type growth. I think Harry and I hacked our way through miles of the jungle looking for any clue. This scar…the one everyone stares at when they see it…the long one on my leg…I fell into a ravine…the ground gave away and I didn’t stop until I reached the bottom – my leg shattered on a large rocky outcropping._

_Harry wanted to beam me back to Voyager but I refused to leave the planet. He called the locals and they took me to their version of a sickbay…they did the best they could…Naomi says…said…there is a scaffolding of hurase metal holding my leg together._

Chakotay grimaced at the story about Alex’s leg. But he still had questions…

“Why didn’t you go back to Voyager to get your leg repaired?”

Alex didn’t answer. She just looked down and continued the story.

_“While my leg was healing enough so I could get around, Tom and B’Elanna found a faint signature that led off-planet. They narrowed it down and since we hadn’t found anything after 3 months – we figured we didn’t have much to lose._

_It took us 3 more months to find you. In a prison mining camp. Your body was still a bit warm when I reached you. You had died before we could save you…before I could save you.”_

Alex finished the story and sat there. Chakotay had read the report but that wasn’t the same as his daughter telling him how she found him already dead in a prison mining camp. Chakotay stood up and extended his hand down to Alex. She took it and stood in front of him, not looking him in the eyes. 

“I’m here now,” Chakotay said with all the tenderness in his heart. He held his arms open for Alex. He could see her shoulders start to shake and the tears start to fall and he pulled her in and let her cry. He held his broken daughter and promised himself, the spirits and whoever else was listening – he would do everything in his power to put her back together again.

TBC


End file.
